Friday, August 14, 2015

Are you still running???

Are you still running??? This is a question I have started hearing more and more frequently as I get closer to my due date. For the most part this question doesn't bother me. Currently I am 34 weeks pregnant and, let's be honest, it's pretty uncommon to see a pregnant woman running around the streets anywhere you go. Most of the time people are pretty positive; I get encouraging comments and a lot of jokes (most of the jokes come from men, which just makes me smile). People look at me with awe, and in the case of Clint and my parents I can tell they are proud of me. (This makes my heart super happy!) However, occasionally this question brings a look of disdain or criticism. I know these people care about me a ton and they mean well but it is super hard to see them look at me, or tell me, that I am harming my baby. Now, I know I am much more emotional right now. I have a ton of estrogen in my system at the moment. But honestly, I have broken down to Clint on more than one occasion over this question and the critical looks I receive.

So, in response to this question, let me just explain myself a little bit. I love running SO much! It makes me super happy. Those close to me know how much running means to me. It gives me sanity and endorphins and passion in a way I just can't describe. After a good run I am literally bouncing off the walls. (Just ask Clint.) I have this huge grin on my face with flushed cheeks and bright eyes. I feel like I can take on the world, like I can do ANYTHING.

Now, as I explained in a previous post, running during pregnancy is hard and being only a few weeks away from my due date it keeps getting harder. (Try running with a bowling ball strapped around your middle.) BUT it is not hard in a way that is harmful to me or my baby. I have conditioned my body over the years. Last year alone I ran almost 1200 miles - right before I started my pregnancy! Of course my miles have decreased significantly as my pregnancy progresses and I have slowed down a ton but my body knows what it is doing. Running is not a new thing for me. (And in all fairness, I feel like I'm pretty good at listening to my body.) Not gonna lie, it can be hard to max out after 8 miles when, pre-pregnancy, my long runs were 10+ miles - at least once a week. I've gone from logging 30-40 miles in the course of a week to around 20 on a good week. However, I wouldn't trade this little girl for anything. I love her so much already. Pregnancy has been a wonderful experience and it is only temporary. Before long I'll be up to my previous mileage and I'll be stronger because of my baby girl.

Also, my doctor has approved all of my physical activity. In fact she has encouraged me to stay consistent with exercise. On my end, exercise tends to make labor/recovery easier and faster, plus it keeps me healthy, both physically and mentally, on so many levels. She is also getting so many benefits from my exercise habits. She is receiving more oxygen, labor will be less stressful on her, and, in general, she will be a healthier baby. And honestly, I think she loves running with me! She tends to move a lot more on days when I am active. (She's gone over 600 miles with me so far.) And while I may have a few braxton hicks while out running, I have not had any serious contractions at any point during my pregnancy. My doctor is really pleased with how well everything is going.

Lastly, I have several spiritual experiences during the course of the last eight months letting me know that I am okay and to trust my body and that if I do I will be able to run my whole pregnancy. The Lord truly understands how much running and my baby mean to me. He has blessed me in so many ways. I often find myself praying during solo runs, trying to express my gratitude to Him.

I have to make a huge shout out to my friends and family who keep encouraging me. (Especially Clint and my parents - pretty sure I have the best family ever.) Thank you for your positive words and for cheering me on. I know there are a lot of people who love me and worry about me and my baby girl but just know I am listening to my body and the doctors and the Lord, constantly.

So, am I still running? Yes, of course! And I plan to run until the end. :)

Sunday, June 14, 2015

Running while Pregnant

I love running so so much but running while pregnant is HARD. It hasn't been hard the whole time though. During my 1st trimester running was easy. I could push myself with normal workouts and my pace didn't change. I felt great while I was running - not so great otherwise from nausea.

As the weeks went on I encountered new trials when working out: lack of fuel made me feel sick, leg cramps would seize up my whole leg, even mild contractions if I didn't hydrate well. With each challenge I sought answers. I now eat something before almost every run - bananas are my favorite. I also load up on all of my electrolytes constantly - my go-tos are CalMag Fizz and salt pills. And I now run with a maternity belt for support. Not all of my methods are fool-proof but, for the most part, they work great.

The past month has been the hardest part so far. Some of my movements have become limited as my belly gets bigger, which is super frustrating when I've never been limited before. Relaxin in my body continues to increase making me feel sore after just a few miles. I used to only feel these aches after racing or my 15+ mile runs! Tackling hills is a constant challenge due to increased heart rate and aching legs - but I keep running them anyway. Some days I can only run two or three miles before I have to stop because my body just isn't up for it. The hardest part, though, has been watching my pace slow. I can't keep up with my friends anymore and I feel bad when they are constantly waiting on me. Although I am super grateful for their support and positive words. There are days when it is so discouraging to look at my time, or my miles.

This last week I have done some major contemplating as I've tried to change my attitude. I love my baby so much and quite honestly she is super tough to go through all of these workouts with me. We are making each other stronger. Plus I only have 14 weeks left and I can do ANYTHING for 14 weeks.

Yesterday, during my run, I finally hit my breakthrough. It's not about speed or even distance right now. It's just about getting out and RUNNING. Yes it is hard. I ache, my legs burn on the uphills, sometimes I have to walk for a minute and focus on breathing. BUT it is all worth it. I can do HARD THINGS. And in the end I will be stronger for it.

"If we quit every time we felt uncomfortable we wouldn't achieve anything." 

So I'll keep running. I'll push through these challenges and discouragements. I'll endure the discomfort. My baby girl is worth it all. And in the end I will be stronger for it.  

Saturday, January 10, 2015

Running

I haven't posted anything in a long time but I am in a very contemplative mood tonight and decided to write about running. This post is a brief glimpse of running for me. It doesn't even begin to capture all of the moments I've had with running but maybe I can catch a few moments so you can see a brief snapshot of what running is to me.

So why do I run? I know there are all of these obvious answers: it makes me feel good, it gives me endorphins, it keeps me healthy, it keeps me sane, etc, etc. But WHY? What does it feel like? Why is it so addicting? Why do I crave it after wearing my body out after a brutal speed workout? Why do I want to run more miles after just completing a long run?

It's the pounding of the ground under my feet as I make each step. I'm moving. It's not flying - I'm not that fast (yet). But everything is at a different speed. At some point my legs ache. They ask me to stop but they are so familiar with the rhythm that they keep moving. Everything moves around me. I'm closer to the ground without the obstruction of a vehicle. Everything is seen at a whole new perspective. The sky changes color. It's always shifting, even in the middle of the day. I always want to capture how the sky looks against the mountains or the trees. Always different colors, altered with the seasons. The scenery too. In the summer everything is bright and green. Lots of colors with dazzling sunlight and blazing heat that twists my stomach in knots. Fall brings new colors and a shift in temperature. Leaves crunch underfoot. When winter hits I always long for the heat of summer. But even in the dull grays and browns of winter there is beauty. The air is cold and crisp. It's refreshing - once I get warmed up. Sometimes I'm lucky to run in the magic of this cold season. A bright, ice-blue sky; a wonderland covered in frost and fog; or the pure, blinding white of new snow covering the ground.

The senses are addicting. To see and hear and smell and feel all of these beautiful things around me. But running is more than physical. It is also mental. We process so many emotions. Anger, sadness, frustration, bliss, wonder, love. All of the negative feelings subside after a time. Somehow they arise to the surface, despite all efforts to bury them. And then the wind takes it away with my words or the ground draws it out of my pounding steps. I find peace. The positive feelings are only amplified. Love for family and friends, how unique and special each one is; how to better serve those around me; how to live life better - fuller. And every moment is that much more intense.

And then there is everything else. Feeling my muscles tense before a hard run or being so strung up I can hardly wait to get out the door. Seeing the finish line and my family cheering and wanting to cry from a rush of emotions but as soon as I do I realize I can't breathe. Knowing I can do hard things.

The miles pass and it's not always blissful or enjoyable in the moment but it is beautiful and wild and amazing and hard. And it is worth every moment.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

The Proposal

I know it has been forever since I actually posted something on my blog but here you go! I have finally met the love of my life, Clint Hortin. He is so amazing and he makes me so happy. We are officially engaged and here's the story!

Alright, well Clint told me we were going to look at rings. He came and picked me up and we went into Logan. On the drive he asked if we could go to second dam. And I said, "Sure...But I thought we were going to look at rings?" 


He assured me we were but he just wanted to go for a walk first. I agreed and put my suspicions out of my mind. When we got to second dam I noticed he grabbed a bag out of his car. I didn't really think anything of it. Then as we started walking on the boardwalk along the water I got really really nervous. Clint kept pointing out all of the fish in the water (he has an eye for finding fish) and I wouldn't let go of his hand!! For some reason I thought if I had his hand he wouldn't propose - real logical, I know. Plus I didn't want to take my attention off of him, in case he all of a sudden ended up on one knee. 

We made it to the end of the boardwalk - the whole time I was looking for people he knew. We were going to go across the bridges but then he pulled me over to this grassy area to look at a chain link fence...I was like, "There's nothing over here..."

He replied with something but I wasn't really paying attention.  So after getting another wave of nerves I just latched onto him in a big bear hug. After a while I think he realized I wasn't about to let go. He started telling me how much he loved me and how much he wanted to be with me for eternity. He finally managed to pry me off of him, and I did reluctantly let go too. Then he got down on one knee and asked me to marry him. I was completely speechless. I finally said yes. I kept repeating, "Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh." It was really the only thing I could say. For like 20 minutes.


And that's the story! BTW the ring is absolutely gorgeous and he picked it out all his own! He knows me well!! It's simple and absolutely beautiful! 








We are both so excited for this next step in life. Some have said that we've moved too fast but if it's right, it's right and there's no need to prolong things. We both love each other and we are both seeing things realistically. We know it's not happily ever after but we are excited to face the future together. <3

Thursday, July 22, 2010

Day Four - Juliet, Day Five - Heartbreak

Day Four and Five in one post, sorry. Emotions can be overwhelming and lately they are all sad topics in my writing. For Day Four I chose to write about Juliet. I simply love the story of Romeo and Juliet. I often put myself in her shoes, trying to imagine how hard loving Romeo must have been. Beautiful story, tragic ending.


A cool breeze blew across Juliet's face, tugging at the loose strands of her chocolate brown hair. Normally the night would have felt magical. Fireflies glowed softly amidst the shrubbery. The stars shown brighter than ever seemed possible. The wind rustled through the leaves, sounding like whispered voices in the distance. She hugged her shawl tighter around her and gazed down at the balcony. Her blue eyes brimmed with tears. At first she tried to blink them away but finally gave in and let them slide down her cheeks. She traced her fingers across the railing thinking back to the previous night.

Last night had been so perfect. So wonderful. She recalled Romeo climbing the thick vines, reciting words that made her heart race. Then he was beside her, brushing her hair from her face oh so tenderly...

She looked up at this deep brown eyes gazing intently upon her. Her heart fluttered nervously. A man had never looked at her so intensely before. He leaned closer until his lips met hers in a soft kiss...

That kiss had changed her whole world. She knew she had loved Romeo before, but the kiss deepened their love in a way she didn't thinkwas possible. It was impossible to forget and now they both knew they were destined to be together forever.

They had spent the rest of the night walking through the lovely gardens of exotic flowers. Romeo shared a whole new world with Juliet, a world of magic and wonder. They laughed and teased each other but sometimes grew serious as their passion for each other grew more and more intense.

Romeo had left at sunrise, vowing to return and be with her forever. However, unfortunate events had taken place. Romeo had been exiled. They were never to see each other again. She could feel her heart breaking and swelling at the same time. She couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. Nothing mattered except Romeo...And she couldn't have him...


Day Five isn't much happier. Heartbreak was the topic so I wrote about Kara Lee losing Johnny. This one is shorter. I honestly couldn't dwell on the subject for too long.


Kara Lee lay curled up on her bed. She hugged her pillow tight as tears streamed from her eyes. Her soft black hair fanned out henind her. A choked sob escaped her lips. She closed her hazel eyes tight and shook her head, trying to shake the pain from her mind.

Johnny had been her whole world. He was so frustrating and stubborn, but she loved him for everything. At first he had refused to acknowledge her but somehow she had broken his defenses and they had fallen in love. But now he had decided to be an idiot again! Breaking promises, missing dates. He had missed graduation tonight, after swearing he would be there. She she sent him away. Too many broken promises. She would get her hopes up every time, only to have them shattered when she never saw his face. He had apologized of course, but if he really cared wouldn't he be there?

She held her pillow tighter and glared with sorrow into the distance. For her own sanity she couldn't put herself through anymore pain but now her heart was breaking. It felt as if it had been shattered into a million pieces. The grief was overwhelming. She didn't want to be healed, nothing to put her back together again, but it would be nice to be taken away from the pain, simply be numb.

Tuesday, July 20, 2010

Day Three - Regret

Emotion for the day is Regret. This one was a tough one for me, seeing as I don't regret anything I've done in my life. So I chose to use a couple of characters that I know like the back of my hand, makes sense because I created them. I realize I am posting a day late, but I had a late night last night and was too exhausted to post until this morning. Enjoy. :)

After a long day Johnny returned to his quarters. Quietly he sat down on his bed, earlier events running through his mind. An overwhelming sense of grief hit him like a blow to the chest. He grimaced at this unforeseen agony.

She was gone. And it was his fault. He tried to push the thought from his mind, but found it impossible. Her face appeared in his mind, clear as a picture. Soft black hair fell around her face, hazel eyes shining as bring as the sun...He could even hear her tingling laughter in his ears.

A yell of frustration exploded from his mouth. He grabbed his pillow and chucked in across the room. Unsatisfied he grabbed the next closest object: he dagger. This too he threw across the room. With amazing accuracy he hit a tapestry of a dragon square between the eyes. It still wasn't enough. The regret was torture and so overwhelming. How could he just miss the one night that was so important? He had been too concerned with himself, not just tonight but for the past several weeks. Missing one night was one thing, but several? It was inexcusable. How could he have been so stupid?!

A mix of fury and agony flashed in his eyes. He needed to take his mind off the pain. He stood up and slapped the bedpost with as much force as he could muster, digging his nails into the wood. The pain numbed his mind for a second. He choked back a strangled sob. Next her swung at the few possessions he owned. A picture frame fell to the stone floor and shattered. The sound of breaking glass seemed to snap Johnny back to his senses for a moment. Tenderly he knelt down and retrieved the photograph amidst the jagged edges. Kara Lee gazed back at him with so much love in her eyes he could feel the crack in his heart grow deeper.

Without another word he hurried from the room, photograph still in hand.

Sunday, July 18, 2010

Day Two - Joy

I decided I needed to give myself options so I didn't spend forever just thinking about writing. Three-hundred and sixty-five posts is an awful lot so if any of you have suggestions throw them out there. It would be fun to get prompts from people. Feel free to challenge me!

For the moment I wrote down several emotions and folded them up. Emotion of the day: Joy. Here's the excerpt for the day:

Sara's eyes flew open. It was her birthday today! Her bright hazel eyes glanced anxiously around her sunlit room. She was not five years old! A huge grin spread across her face. She scrambled out of bed, ran to her bedroom door, and yanked it open. "Mommy, Mommy!" she hollered as she raced down the hallway, pink nightgown flowing with her.

In her parents' bedroom her mother rolled over at her daughter's approach. "Mommy, it's my birthday!" Sara exclaimed.

Her mother gave Sara a sleepy smile. "It is, sweetheart."

"I'm five years old now!" Sara began climbing onto her mother's plush bed. She plopped down and stared at her mother, her expression still one of giddy excitement.

"Yes you are, sweetie." Her mother sat up. "And do you feel older?"

After a moment's thought Sara replied, "I do!" She crawled over towards her mother and gave her a big hug. "Mommy can we have cake now?" she asked.

Laughing, her mother returned the hug. "We have to wait for Daddy to get home tonight." She kissed the top of Sara's head. "But I canlet you open one present."

Sara pulled away, her grin even bigger than before. "Okay!"


Haha aren't kids so cute?