Running

I haven't posted anything in a long time but I am in a very contemplative mood tonight and decided to write about running. This post is a brief glimpse of running for me. It doesn't even begin to capture all of the moments I've had with running but maybe I can catch a few moments so you can see a brief snapshot of what running is to me.

So why do I run? I know there are all of these obvious answers: it makes me feel good, it gives me endorphins, it keeps me healthy, it keeps me sane, etc, etc. But WHY? What does it feel like? Why is it so addicting? Why do I crave it after wearing my body out after a brutal speed workout? Why do I want to run more miles after just completing a long run?

It's the pounding of the ground under my feet as I make each step. I'm moving. It's not flying - I'm not that fast (yet). But everything is at a different speed. At some point my legs ache. They ask me to stop but they are so familiar with the rhythm that they keep moving. Everything moves around me. I'm closer to the ground without the obstruction of a vehicle. Everything is seen at a whole new perspective. The sky changes color. It's always shifting, even in the middle of the day. I always want to capture how the sky looks against the mountains or the trees. Always different colors, altered with the seasons. The scenery too. In the summer everything is bright and green. Lots of colors with dazzling sunlight and blazing heat that twists my stomach in knots. Fall brings new colors and a shift in temperature. Leaves crunch underfoot. When winter hits I always long for the heat of summer. But even in the dull grays and browns of winter there is beauty. The air is cold and crisp. It's refreshing - once I get warmed up. Sometimes I'm lucky to run in the magic of this cold season. A bright, ice-blue sky; a wonderland covered in frost and fog; or the pure, blinding white of new snow covering the ground.

The senses are addicting. To see and hear and smell and feel all of these beautiful things around me. But running is more than physical. It is also mental. We process so many emotions. Anger, sadness, frustration, bliss, wonder, love. All of the negative feelings subside after a time. Somehow they arise to the surface, despite all efforts to bury them. And then the wind takes it away with my words or the ground draws it out of my pounding steps. I find peace. The positive feelings are only amplified. Love for family and friends, how unique and special each one is; how to better serve those around me; how to live life better - fuller. And every moment is that much more intense.

And then there is everything else. Feeling my muscles tense before a hard run or being so strung up I can hardly wait to get out the door. Seeing the finish line and my family cheering and wanting to cry from a rush of emotions but as soon as I do I realize I can't breathe. Knowing I can do hard things.

The miles pass and it's not always blissful or enjoyable in the moment but it is beautiful and wild and amazing and hard. And it is worth every moment.