Have you ever looked back on your life and realized how fast everything has gone? When you are little you can't wait to be a teenager. When you are in high school you want out. College is stressful and fun, but expensive so you just want to graduate and get a job to make some money. Then you get a full time job and realize you just wish you could play all the time. (At least that's what I've heard.) Everything has hit me full force this week. I graduated last Saturday at it was amazing. I felt so good. The experience felt so surreal until I stepped onto the floor of the Spectrum. That's when all of the emotions hit me. I was finally graduating. I was done... Then I looked around and saw my family waving excitedly at me. The experience was overwhelming. I was so happy and relieved and sad, all at once. I choked up a little, but I refused to actually cry. (I don't like crying in front of people.) The ceremony was awesome. Our speakers talked about memories at Utah State and remembering the good times because someday we would miss our times there. So true. I wish I could remember all of the dumb stuff that I've done. True Aggie Night, playing on the Quad, making-out in random buildings...Haha! There are things I never got to do like sled down Old Main Hill. I still have the rest of the year to do everything I want to. I can't believe how fast everything has gone. I'm done. It's a really weird feeling.
If graduating wasn't crazy enough I jumped right into a job. It's nothing permanent yet. I'm teaching at Skyview High. I'm filling in for their band director who is resigning due to a high risk pregnancy. Man, it has been a crazy week. I had a concert last night and we have pep band tomorrow night. Talk about getting thrown into the fire. You want to know what I miss the most? Having someone to talk to all the time. At Logan High Dan was always there for me. I really miss our conversations. I miss the kids back at Logan, although the kids at Skyview are great and I know they appreciate having me there. I didn't realize how spoiled I was at Logan High. Dan has everything that I want. The equipment, the resources, the knowledge, an amazing music library. You name it and Dan's got it. :) It is really nice to be so close. I still talk to Dan all the time. (Like every day.) It's really different to be grown up, to have to face the world at full force. Teaching is the easiest part of my day. Everything else is the hard part. I'm learning a lot and I'm really glad the week is almost over. I need some time to get my feet back under me. I know I'm getting attached though. Today I couldn't even imagine leaving Skyview and not coming back. It'll take time, but it is my program now.
It's time to grow up.
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2 comments:
Tayna I totally understand!
I got a job within a month of graduation -- THROWN INTO THE FIRE! But I have to admit you have me beat-- one week after graduation you're already working your job.
I almost (did) cry at graduation when they played the alma mater, it took me back to my first year of band playing that song for the first time, not knowing the words, and then signing them nearly 4 ears later was just crazy!
If you need to talk, call me anytime :) I know what you mean about talking to your old boss, you don't realize how good your internship really was until it's over.
BUT CONGRATS ON GRADUATION AND A STEADY PAYCHECK!
Ranae! You are so amazing! I am so glad that someone has felt what I am going through. Everything is changing and it's slow and fast all at once. I'm still in Logan, but now I have a job and I'm not going to USU. My life is still music, but now I'm the teacher instead of the student. It's weird, I still feel like a student. I still think like a student sometimes! :)
Thanks for your post. It made me feel a lot better about things. Again, you are amazing. Good luck with things in Idaho. ;)
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